I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
