apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Randomize
