listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
