shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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