What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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