I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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