there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
