I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
