dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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