Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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