He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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