Its about making memories worth repressing
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
