Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
