She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
