In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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