Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
