I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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