Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
