some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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