Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We are two peas in an std pod
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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