It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
