I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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