There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
