I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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