Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize