If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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