All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
