I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
