She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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