and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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