I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
