With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
