When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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