I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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