Yo dont text me then not text me
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
