This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Is it penis luge time yet?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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