something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
