Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
