Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
