I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize