I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
