Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
