took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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