If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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