Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
