I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
