i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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