HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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