Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
