What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
