I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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