I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
