Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
it's like iHOP with fire
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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