we're blogging at a bar
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
