No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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