dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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