hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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