You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
