What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
