I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
