I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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