Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
