got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize