you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
