When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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