NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
